East Gate Alliance is the first Canadian church to host the conference

Craig Macartney
Spur Ottawa Writer

Canadian children are increasingly being raised in blended families. According to the 2016 census, more than 20 percent of infants live in a single-parent or blended family before their first birthday. That number rises to 36 percent for children between 10 and 14 years old. While many churches have programs and outreaches for single moms, few have initiatives addressing the unique challenges of blended families.

“It is easier to see single parents than blended families, so we are not always aware of that,” says Debbie Macphail, director of child and family ministries at East Gate Alliance Church. “In our context we see a lot of single moms whose former spouses are in relationships with other people. That puts them in this category of asking, ‘How do I navigate that and uphold my beliefs about God?’”

East Gate is the first church in Canada to host a livestream of “Blended & Blessed”, a conference put on by Family Life. Blended & Blessed seeks to break the cycle of broken families by strengthening marriages and equipping stepfamilies, single parents, and dating couples with kids to build strong and healthy relationships.

“These families need support. They should be able to find it within the Church.”

“Sadly, in Canada we are seeing more and more families falling apart and, in turn, creating more blended families,” says Valerie Bruyere, the regional representative of Family Life Canada. “Many feel like they are just surviving day to day. This conference is aimed at equipping, encouraging, and sharing with others so that they can thrive in their marriage and families.”

East Gate will host the live one-day conference on April 27, from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

“I was shocked when Val told me we would be the first church in Canada hosting this conference,” Macphail says. “These families need support. They should be able to find it within the Church.”

Despite the challenges, Bruyere says there is hope to break the cycle of divorce.

In addition to the regular relational challenges, Macphail says blended families face rocky transitions, differing family expectations and values, and the dynamic between kids and stepparents. Even small things like establishing a bedtime can snowball into an issue that causes significant stress. Despite the challenges, Bruyere says there is hope to break the cycle of divorce.

“I am in my second marriage, myself” she says. “There are so many tools and helps out there that I wished we would have had while the kids were living with us. I wish other blended families to know there are resources out there that can really help. They don’t need to feel alone.”

There are many ways churches can help blended families. Bruyere suggests being vulnerable from the pulpit, hosting small groups focusing on marriage and families, and facilitating marriage mentorships.

“The Church needs to create environments that are safe and welcoming to blended families,” adds Macphail. “Offering events such as Blended & Blessed is a good start, as it acknowledges that there are different family groups with unique challenges. If the Church is seen as a safe place to go, then we have the opportunity and privilege of introducing them to Jesus.

“Wholeness and unity in the family unit can be accomplished by the work of His Spirit. Lives can be transformed and marriages strengthened.”

Visit East Gate Alliance’s website for more information.