“It causes long-term emotional trauma that often ripples outward.”

Allen Macartney
Special to Spur Ottawa

One-in-four women have had an abortion by age 45. More than half these women report having thoughts about suicide after their abortion. Many woman quietly bury the psychological pain of abortion, but ministries like Rachel’s Vineyard are helping them find closure and receive healing.

“After abortion many people feel shame, guilt, and loss,” says Lynda Munroe, who organizes Rachel’s Vineyard retreats, with her husband Terry, in the National Capital area. “If [these feelings] continue for more than three months they can develop into Post Abortion Stress Syndrome—a lot like PTSD. Depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, sleeping disorders, anger, and panic attacks sometimes follow.”

Terry adds that post-abortive men also experience many of these same emotions. He says they sometimes bury the feelings by becoming angry, abusive, or workaholics.

“These retreats create a place where people can share, often for the first time.”

“Abortion involves violence,” says Lynda. “It causes long-term emotional trauma that often ripples outward and affects relationships in families, friends, and colleagues. It can unleash a lot of other violence, anger, and depression in people.”

Rachel’s Vineyard was designed by a counselling psychologist in the early 1990s. Each year more than one thousand of the retreats are offered worldwide.

“These retreats create a place where people can share, often for the first time, their deepest feelings about their abortion experience,” says Terry. “It all happens within a supportive, confidential, and non-judgmental environment. The result: it starts a process of restoration, renewal, and healing.”

“Talk therapy isn’t enough often to bring healing to post-abortive people,” Lynda adds. “So we build in a wide range of healing methods [like creating ambiance with candles] that involve all senses.”

Lynda and Terry most recently hosted an Ottawa retreat the weekend of May 31.

“Immediately after my first abortion I felt that I had done something wrong.”

“We start the weekend by sharing dinner together,” says Lynda, “then move into a ‘Living Scripture’ exercise time where we read a Bible story.”

“Then someone reads it again in the first person, as if he or she is experiencing it directly,” adds Terry. “It helps people sense God’s compassion and mercy for them, process unresolved grief, and accept God’s forgiveness and healing. It’s very moving.”

The retreats help participants see God as loving and forgiving. Healing is a process and participants do not go home fully healed, but the process has begun. Hearing the stories of others working through post-abortive grief helps participants realize they are not alone in their pain. It breaks the isolation that secrecy can cause.

Malinda Tibbitts experienced this grief personally, after having two abortions as a young adult.

“I trusted what newspapers and television said about abortion. The medical profession and our government said it was so easy, free, and safe. But immediately after my first abortion I felt that I had done something wrong. After my second abortion I felt a greater sense of loss and shame. They lied to me. These were not the mere ‘lumps of flesh’ I had been told. I buried the guilt for 30 years.”

“Stay open and communicative with your teen.”

Then she heard about Rachel’s Vineyard and attended a retreat.

“Before attending I was afraid of what might surface inside me. I really didn’t want to face more pain.”

Yet, Tibbitts says the retreat offered thoughtful and helpful illustrations that led to deep healing.

One past participant told Lynda, “For the first time in 10 years I don’t hate myself.” Another shared, “The communication has reopened between my husband and me.”

While healing ministry is important, avoiding abortions is a far easier route. Lynda and Terry say that parents of teens can play a key role.

“Stay open and communicative with your teen. Don’t threaten. Educate them about sex education and abortion so they know the real emotional risks.”

If a teen ends up pregnant, Lynda emphasizes that “an unplanned pregnancy is not a tragedy. Life is a gift from God. That’s what parents should say to teens. If it happens, come and tell us. We’re here for you. We’re going to help you walk through this.”