By Samuel Ward

Three years ago I was faced with the harsh reality that my life was changing forever. As a missionary kid, I had spent the greater part of my childhood growing up in a remote corner of the world—a small village in South Sudan, Africa. While it might be expected that I would feel excitement to “leave the bush and come to the real world”, in truth, it was just the opposite. Weighing in my heart that day was a feeling of painful defiance.

Years before, I had fallen in love with that place, which I had come to call home. The land was flat and dry, scorched under the heat of the afternoon sun. People lived their lives traditionally, much the same way as their ancestors had. Grass-thatched huts dotted the landscape, clustered into compounds where large families would dwell. Surrounding such compounds lay fields of crop: sorghum (the staple grain in the area) interspersed with patches of peanuts. Roaming the dusty landscape were majestic herds of cattle—the pride and joy of the Dinka people. These cows sported impressive horns as they were marched proudly through the village.

• Samuel Ward (left) and his brother, Zakari, stand with their South Sudanese friends. Photo courtesy of Samuel Ward.

We lived among these people without any of the amenities enjoyed in the West. The great distraction of materialism was almost non-existent, replaced with a simplicity that makes one content. I lived my days climbing trees, kicking up dust on the soccer field, and reading books with my friends. Life seemed very real, and I loved it.

Our village church was a relatively small structure, built with rough mud walls and a grass roof. The simplicity stands in contrast with the affluent churches of the West. Yet, when I would enter that building, I’d be greeted with the sound of joyful singing. People who weren’t very well off materially filled the air with loud shouts of exaltation to our Lord and King Jesus. In a way, it was almost easier for the gospel message to be greeted with joy among those who entered that church. With far fewer material possessions to distract, people were compelled to rely on Christ. In the same way, I came to rely on Christ, learning that He alone is the one who satisfies all our needs. My simple, carefree life, free from many of the temptations experienced here, provided the ideal conditions for my young faith.

My simple, carefree life, free from many of the temptations experienced here, provided the ideal conditions for my young faith.

All this changed as the plane lifted into the sky that morning, three years ago. Life melted away from beneath me. I was determined never to fit into Canadian life; never to belong; never to act normal. One day, I was going to return.

In fact, one of the lessons I had not yet learned was to trust God. I had been fighting His will for a while. I strongly wanted to stay, and I couldn’t face the fact that it was not His plan for me. I wanted my own way. It didn’t help that the huge words on our Calendar leading up to our departure were “Your will be done”.

Now, three years later, much has changed. I’m not fighting God’s will anymore. With confidence, I can say that God’s will is good and he can be trusted. My new church has been a wonderful experience for me. I’ve found friends and a group of believers who are serious about their faith and studying God’s word. I can genuinely say that I’ve enjoyed many aspects of Canadian life.

• The Ward family, from left to right, Vince, Julie, Amina, Samuel, and Zakari. Photo courtesy of Samuel Ward.

The transition wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined or even wanted to imagine. Yet, the change was not devoid of hardship. I’ve struggled with my identity because no matter where I go, I’m not able to fully belong. Even in Africa, a place I’ve long considered home, I can never fully fit in. It’s a common struggle for missionary kids. The change has taught me to look to Christ. This Earth is temporary and passing away and I can look forward to the only true home I’ll ever have—in heaven.

Life as a missionary kid has been an incredible experience. Despite the confusion and relative difficulty, I wouldn’t trade my childhood for anything. It has given me a unique perspective as I encounter the world in this stage of life. Through it all God has been faithful and it has been a wonderful journey as I discover His grace through the life I’ve lived.