Navigating a porn-filled world
“We are in a state now where it is when our kids are exposed.”
Craig Macartney
Spur Ottawa Writer
Pornography is everywhere. It is easier to access than ever before—only as far away as the phone in your pocket—it is free, and its harmful effects are so evident that secular psychologists are warning about the dangers.
Today’s climate of hyper-sexualisation makes it especially challenging to protect kids and young people from pornography. Strength to Fight, an Ottawa-based anti-porn ministry, recently held a day-long seminar equipping parents to meet that challenge.
“A number of parents don’t really understand the risks and dangers,” says Jeremy Sauvé, Discipleship Pastor at St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church, where the event was held. “Kids younger and younger have access to smart phones. This industry really targets kids through gaming apps and ads in snapchat or Instagram. I don’t believe we are in a state now where it is if our kids are exposed. It is when our kids are exposed.”
The seminar, titled Beyond The Talk: Raising and Protecting Children in A Pornified World, aimed to give parents practical advice and point them to resources to help “porn-proof” their children.
“We also wanted to help parents understand what is at stake, what happens psychologically when there is addiction.”
“That was our desire, to provide a place for parents who really want to get equipped to get a lot of information and solutions,” explains Josh Gilman, Strength To Fight’s executive director. “When we talk about ‘porn-proofing our kids’ what we mean is that when they see it, it doesn’t need to have an effect on them.”
The seminar discussed the neurological effects pornography has on the brain. Gilman explains that viewing it simultaneously releases the same chemicals as hard drugs, both uppers like crack and downers like heroin.
“We also wanted to help parents understand what is at stake, what happens psychologically when there is addiction and the neurology. Having these conversations with kids is difficult and uncomfortable. None of us looks forward to having them, but when we understand what is at stake, that can spur us on.”
Talking openly with kids and young people about healthy sexuality and is one of the keys the seminar focused on. It is a principle Sauvé says struck a nerve with many attendees.
“The number one thing we can do is create an environment of communication.”
“Josh mentioned that we need to transition past having one, single talk about sex and issues like this. If our kids can remember a date when we had ‘the talk’, then we’ve failed. It really helped reinforce for me the consistent dialogue so as my kids get older, they have comfort around talking about sexuality in general and what it means to be a Christian.”
“The number one thing we can do is create an environment of communication,” Gilman states. “We need to be talking to our kids about sexuality and pornography from a very young age.”
Another aspect Sauvé says really helped parents was pointing them to specific tools to help them engage with their kids or filter internet access. One tool he mentioned is a book called Good Pictures Bad Pictures. The book helps kids understand what pornography is and how to respond to it, but Gilman says after reading the book the child will only know about sexuality what they knew before reading it.
Strength To Fight is planning another seminar in the spring.
“For parents and people who work with children, I believe it’s their responsibility to be informed about these things,” Sauvé states. “I was really excited to see how many parents showed up this year. Churches need to start talking about this more in healthy ways and equipping parents.”
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